Have
you ever wanted to murder someone?
Please,
please, read on. I am deadly serious.
So,
have you ever wanted to murder someone?
I
don't mean wished them dead
But actually seriously considered
the process of killing. Lay in bed at night and played with the
tantalizing concept? Contemplated strangulation, poisoning or
a good old-fashioned stabbing?
I
know that notion undoubtedly makes you feel uncomfortable
I know also that you are squirming in your seat as you sit there
in front of your computer, but please endure with me a smidgen
longer. You have to admit that the notion of killing someone on
some level excites you, doesn't it? Come on, be honest
Deep
down, a little part of you is crying out.
"You
betcha
You betcha I have wanted to kill someone."
Well,
as I have said, I also wanted someone dead. And trust me, I did
not want it to be quick, I wanted it to be long, painful andhow
should I best put thisI suppose tortured would be the best
word. Yes I like how that sounds
Don't you?
I
have to further admit that the internet is an amazing place
You can find all sorts of interesting folks. Heck, I found you,
didn't I?
So
it came as not so much of a surprise when I came across a rather
fun site for murderers. It is quite a brilliant site, if I am
to be honest. It is also a very private group, as you might imagine
I had to answer all sorts of personal questions, to be honest.
I guess they do not want any crazy people in their midst.
The
group works on a remarkably simple premise, a premise that the
delightful Hitchcock made into one of his finest movies. I am
sure that you have guessed by now, haven't you? Yes
People
there swap murders.
Several
days ago, an ex-girlfriend of mine, that one who almost sent me
off the brink of insanity, apparently met an untimely and rather
gruesome demise
I don't know all the details, however, I
do understand that it was anything but quick
Oh, to have
seen that look on her face when she realized
How priceless
that would have been. Naturally, I was away on a business trip
at the time, and I have dozens of witnesses.
But
I should not talk of that! Heavens, no
I am rather a chatterbox
sometimes and that sort of defeats the point and purpose of me
writing this.
Well,
the truth of the matter is the very nice sweet person who committed
that murder wanted someone in turn murdered. Well, you can plainly
see that would only be fair. And whatever else people might say
about me, not being fair is not one of them.
And
as that sweat beginning to bead on your forehead indicates, the
person they wanted dead is you. I have no idea what you have done
to anger them so, but I am sure that you know exactly what you
have done to motivate all this.
I
suspect that you want to get up and run now
maybe call the
police?
Of
course you do
But by now it is already too late!
HA!
Got you!
Please
understand that as you read this, the poison is already having
an effect
The poison that I tipped the keyboard keys with.
It is quite remarkable how it absorbs through the skin
and
slowly but convincingly starts to attack the nervous system!
Oh,
and before you get any smart ideas, they will never be able to
trace this message
I am far to smart for that.
Ahh,
yes
Computers are such a delightful thing.
Goodbye.