In
the beginning... There was a coconut, or maybe it was an apple,
or a very large acorn. Well, anyway, it was some sort of "beginning".
The beginning of a day perhaps, or a moment, or the change in
course of someone's lifetime. Nonetheless we have established
it was indeed—a beginning.
Now,
we might want to establish whether or not this "beginning"
was on the planet we know as "Earth". Such questions
do arise in the more "ethereal" of our species, and
in those type we could probably continue this questioning indefinitely.
But for the sake of time constraints—and one's sanity—we
shall disregard the ethereal types and surrender to the thoughts
of the general masses. Only in cases such as this will this be
acceptable.
On
the planet Earth, within the continent of North America, in a
small town somewhere in the state of Kansas, we shall say that
an "apple" dropped from a tree. We shant say it was
a coconut, because Palm Trees are not indigenous to this specific
geographical region of the world, although a small Hawaiian person
may have traveled to this area by plane to specifically plant
a Palm Tree, so that he might grow coconuts in Kansas. But this
is unlikely. It could have possibly been an acorn, but the writer
of this story is insisting the object be an "apple".
So
then.
An
apple fell from a tree. It fell onto the head of one "Penelope
Phartslot". Dreadful name. As the apple struck the top of
Ms. Phartslot's head, it caught the edge of a hairclip and proceeded
to sever a piece of the apple that continued in flight, with the
help of gravity, towards a lower object.
In
fact, there were two lower objects, one being a large, one eyed,
tabby cat, and the other being a quite youthful and troublesome
Jack Russell Terrier.
Now,
we have the original large apple, as compared to the size of a
Tabby Cat's head, and we have the shard of apple that was neatly
severed by the hairclip. The shard of apple takes a slight right
turn as it has been deflected by sheer momentum and laws of physics,
and proceeds to fly directly into the good eye of the Tabby Cat.
The
larger piece of the apple however is on its way down when the
leaf on the apple gets caught on a limb. The limb, now weighted
by the wounded apple and gravitational pull is forced down, where
it slaps the Jack Russell Terrier right on the back of its rump,
and swings back upward like a slingshot.
The
cat reacts with the normal scream-pounce combination. The Jack
Russell Terrier is running around in lightning-like circles trying
to figure out who slapped him on the rump. Poor Penelope Phartslot
is rubbing her head and trying to catch the Tabby Cat on its way
back "down" from its pounce.
The
apple, however, has taken flight again. Only this time has reached
a new height for its "drop" momentum. (Thank goodness
it wasn't a coconut!)
Suddenly,
and most fortuitously for the Tabby cat, the Jack Russell Terrier,
and poor Penelope Phartslot, a strong gust of wind comes along
and changes the trajectory of the apple. The felonious fruit is
now headed for a most troublesome of creatures. A hungry squirrel.
The
squirrel, not being the brightest of the earth's various species,
sees this beacon of hope and harbor of hunger flying directly
towards him, and his eyes open wide with excitement! It is a sign
from the food Gods. It is a miracle. It is red and juicy! The
starving squirrel stretches his arms out wide, and smiles a squirrelly
smile, and welcomes the apple.
